Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
