if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize