It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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