Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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