I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
