Swine flu is the new snow day.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
