The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
