Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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