Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Come see our sink grown plant.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
