There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
