Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
