I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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