That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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