i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And then he peed in my hair
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
