You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My ass is underappreciated
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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