Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize