Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
