dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize