My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
