Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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