so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Randomize
