i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
