is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
