I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize