I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
