question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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