i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dignity is for republicans.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
