I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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