Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
