we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
