who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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