I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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