5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
