Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
