I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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