just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
