New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
