I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
