How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
