You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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