Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
