haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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