My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize