Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
