covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
