DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Randomize
