Your face is a jimmy john
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
