Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
