last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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