you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize