I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You've changed since you got that strap on
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