Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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