youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
