That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
