with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
