If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
