My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
