Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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