Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
