Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize