i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
