burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
