Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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